Thursday, July 29, 2010
Pat on the back and a punch in the face...
So I've started to notice that people's true colors show through when you have a big event in your life or something major changes. You realize who your true friends are and who is really just along for the ride. Why do so called "friends" only keep in contact when its convenient? I don't really understand people sometimes. You might support them through the hardest times and always be there for them when they need you the most, but when they get through those hard times and find a bit of happiness and overcome their problems, you get left high and dry and later down the road those people fall back into the same cycle of going through hard times, looking for support and just like that they forget you even existed. I'm not saying I know a lot of people like this, but enough to make me think twice about what the word "friend" means. I think we far too often throw it around and use the term loosely, but we should reserve that title for the very best of people who are consistent, reliable, honorable, and loyal to the true meaning. I realize now that if you have 1 or 2 true "friends" you should consider yourself very lucky...
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Oh man do I feel ya there. Ever since I moved to Utah and got married I feel cut off from a lot of people. When I was working before it was close to impossible to stay in touch but I've tried to improve since I've been home with my little girl. I feel like I've tried so hard to keep in touch recently and nobody cares... definitely hang on to those true friends. It's hard to find 'em. I guess that's where hopefully family comes in to play.
ReplyDeleteHere is some definition on "Friend"... (by www.merriam-webster.com)
ReplyDelete------------
Main Entry: 1friend
Pronunciation: \ˈfrend\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English frend, from Old English frēond; akin to Old High German friunt friend, Old English frēon to love, frēo free
Date: before 12th century
1
a : one attached to another by affection or esteem
b : acquaintance
2
a : one that is not hostile
b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3
: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4
: a favored companion
5
capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war —called also Quaker
— friend·less\ˈfren(d)-ləs\ adjective
— friend·less·ness noun
— be friends with
: to have a friendship or friendly relationship with
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I know exactly how you feel, friends business is pretty tricky unfortunately.. well obviously I am older than you are so imagine what I went through...
I have lived in all different places and I have met so many people, and I have always trusted people who became my 'so called friend', but after all, you just know the only true friends are the ones who are there for you no matter what, especially when you are going through the down time. When you find out that your friend is not really your true friend, it is hurtful and disappointing but you have to see this as a good thing, a good opportunity, it is better to find this out sooner or later.
As for me, one or two so called 'BBF' have left my life about 6 years ago, ironically around at the same time. I was very puzzled.
But now I think of it, I see clearly the negative influences I was getting from them. And it was a good thing that they are not around anymore.
It gave me an opportunity to value my TRUE friend who are still around me after all these years.
Even your friend lives far away or in different country, even you don't chat with your friend everyday, your true friend is still your true friend.
AND what I learned through all these years, I don't call anyone who I meet 'friend' so easily anymore, I specify them as 'acquaintance' 'so and so's friend' 'someone I know' and so on. ;)